♥ Wednesday, September 17, 2008

||Ask me how I feel at my dimmest & u'll get no truth but stories and lies||

I need to rethink what I need to do, right now.. Should I study or should I just come out to work..? Don't even know what I want or what goals I have in the future.. :/

Headed out to meet Bunny today.. We're going to find a shop that shuin brought me to, the last time..

See the Sorrow in My Eyes
Tell no Truth
But Stories and Lies
Weep a Tear into a Thousand streams
Like Facets and Diamonds
This heart is Strong
Unfazed, Unstained, Unknown, Unbeaten
My judgement is Clear
I am that is
These Goals Conquered will Be rightfully Mine.

©Copyright 2008. Sixthbane.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

Wore my new top today and did my eyes in a more pinkish shade of purple.. Then I paired my dressing with my white bag..

And... I was late again by a few hours.. Sorry bunny! Just couldn't get out of bed and even when I did, Im just so last minute! :(

Did I mention that we were both road idiots? Haha we practically walked around in circles and even stopped to ask passerbys how to get to the place and finally we found it.. At long last.. Then we got something for ourselves there and bunny chose this cool item.. Think I should be the one getting that cos I always seem so hard to detangle myself from getting pissed/upset easily..

When we were about to leave something bad happened.. Sianz.. And yea I went to the toilet(public) and wept.. Couldn't control my frustrations and sadness.. And if I don't let it out now, later it'd be even more embarassing for it to happen in public.. I couldn't talk much to bunny too cos the moment I tried to talk, I felt like the tears were gonna start again.. Moreover, I don't want bunny to ask if i was okay or not and dig deeper and all that cos im already feeling so upset still want to interrogate me, i tell you, i would cry for hours non stop like a overflowing tap... :(

Nevermind that and we just got onto the mrt.. Tried to smile but it didn't turn out right.. My eyes were like reddish..

Fortunately, camwhoring with another calmed me down a bit and took my mind off things..
(click to enlarge picture)


I wore a nice top today! Expected it to be an all happy day today! But all I received was a Very very bad hell hole day! :(:(:(

Listening to music made me feel better.. Much much better...


Don't want to look at the camera le.. Gonna alight soon..

Then I taught her that to have big eyes - it has to do with camera angle and looking upwards with tilting your head downwards n it'll give you bigger eyes! And of course if you want even bigger eyes, before the camera snaps, open your eyes even BIGGER! haha...

Tried to smile but im not happy..

Don't even feel happy so what for smile for all the world to see when it isn't even a Real Smile...

Bunny was off to celebrate her friend's birthday and she was drinking and all that.. Was like a sleepover and then they took videos.. Silly videos.. Hur hur.

But really. I really hate it when I get upset by some things cos its SO god damn hard to get me in my Happy moods.. And whenever im in a Happy mood, i get gatecrashed back to Hell.

How can I ever be happy when every single ounce of happiness I can get always leaves me dry so fast even before I have savoured every last bit of it?


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