♥ Sunday, May 25, 2008




If ya don't like me, you can just walk away. Im not asking you to stay but if you're interested in what happened, feel free to read on.



I am in a Very Very Very bad mood now. I don't like to be angry/pissed off but THESE people made me have no choice but to bring the ugly and bitchy side of me out.

I don't even know if I should blog about what happened the whole day today but I guess I'll have to take my chances. After all, This is My Blog.

It was supposed to be a very happy day today but Everyone ruined it. I have just ended a phase in life and Everyone is EXPECTING me to be serious and FIND A JOB.

Oh please, 2, 3, 4, 5 have your own perceptions on life but I am very obstinate in my thinking. What I set out to do, I will finish it and no means of wasting your saliva is gonna make me Change My Mind.

2 is very adventurous and an all-rounder. Blood type is B by the way, same like me. Cool. Maybe thats why I find it easier to speak my mind since even if I Do offend 2, 2 will treat me as an adult and won't talk about me being rude or anything. However, although 2 has given me lotsa ideas and thinks she knows everything, she does not know me one bit. In my eyes, Multimedia is the same as Art (Design) because it DABBLES with the Creative aspect.

3, is a Christian. THANK GOD 3 didn't speak much to me today. *Hallelujah* because whatever comes out of 3's mouth is "Why don't you accept God/Jesus too? Why don't you embark on a journey as a Christian? Would you like to come to the Church and hear the Sermons(i think thats spelled like that) from the priest....etc". And then there was this conversation during the Tomb sweeping day whereby 3 asked me Where I would go to if I Die. And 3 went on to say something like if I don't accept Jesus in my life, I won't be able to go to Heaven. I replied her that it doesn't matter where I go to when I die. After all, We all Die Someday. But what I was clearly thinking in my mind was, if the need arises, I can Always convert to christianity when I die, by my 'future' children or kin if they want me to convert. (After all, if Im dead, I can't say NO right...cos we won't be able to communicate)

As of now, Im tired of people coming up to me and telling me to join these Religious Righteous "Cliques". I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHRISTIANITY, AT ALL. PLEASE SAVE YOUR BREATH AND PERSUADE SOME OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR FAITH WAVERING - THEY ARE MUCH EASIER TO CONFORM TO YOUR PREACHING. I AM DOING JUST FINE WITHOUT CHRISTIANITY THANK YOU.

I TELL YOU, THE NEXT PERSON WHO ASKS ME/TALKS TO ME ABOUT CHRISTIANITY, I MIGHT JUST GIVE YOU A SLAP. REALLY. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN IT. (how many times must i repeat myself...???!??!?!?!?) I AM NOT TARGETTING CHRISTIANS ONLY BUT IT SO HAPPENS THAT I HAVE HAD NOT ANY PROBLEMS WITH TAOISM/BUDDHISM SO FAR AS NO ONE FROM THAT GROUP HAS BOTHERED ME AS MUCH AS YET.

I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ALL ARE TAKING IN CONSIDERATION TO BETTER YOUR OWN GOOD AND RAISE A FEW STARS IN JESUS' EYES HENCE YOU ARE TRYING TO PULL AS MANY PEOPLE IN TO CONFORM TO CHRISTIANITY BUT HEY, WOULDN'T HE WANT YOU TO LET PEOPLE LIVE THE WAY THEY ARE WITHOUT BEING 'FORCED/COERCED' TO HIS RELIGION OUT OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL? YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

Im not done with this entry yet. There is more. If you can take it, read on. If it pisses off your glory asses, please, feel free to LEAVE. You are Not Obliged to Stay or Make a Mountain out of a MOLEhill. ~Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am.~

4, I am so sick and tired of hearing your voice. You think you know the world and more likely, you think you know me but you have Absolutely No Idea. Sleep may be crucial but I dread argueing with everyone on this point. You think I want to wear a cap all the time? You think I want to sleep late? You think I don't want my health back on track? Goodness, you don't even know me from the inside out. And after that BIG conversation, you come look at me in disdain. I feel the relationship just gotten worse.

But I was born a Rebel, I was born to not Conform to others' mindsets. I was born, supposedly to be FREE and to lead a carefree life but no. These are the only mindsets that're jaded in me. Oh and did I mention that Im pretty Stubborn by nature too? I am a Fire Rabbit, and a Fire Sagittarius. Now, how can you expect me to be so locked up like a little yellow canary in a cage? Its true that I was Very locked up in the past, like a country bumpkin when I see the world and its wonderous ways and HOW I DREAD THAT. Sadly, its beginning to happen all over again, right here, right now.

5, is Very Passive. From the way 5 speaks, I can tell that even if she's very dominating at work and really rose to the top at work; it was because of tolerance and endurance over her job that she hated but GREW to love it. Need I say more? Its like someone FORCED to be put in a Jail cell (for life, maybe) and Grew to UNWILLINGLY LOVE IT. I feel slightly sad for her and it IS definitely right of her to say to not depend on her spouse. Why? Because from what I see, 5 would slog day and night for her husband who DOESN'T even appreciate the least bit of whatever 5 does for the family, the house, and the meals she painstakingly prepare for her children, including her spouse. What i see, is her spouse would 'play' all day and night and does not even have a fixed job of equal standard to his wife. So where does the role of the man as the Main Breadwinner in the family come in? Her spouse doesn't even appreciate what she does - now why would I say that? The last time, 5 tried her hand at making muffins BUT, her husband, did not even take a SINGLE WHIFF, let alone a SINGLE bite from 5's hardwork muffins she made with care! How can he do that?! That immediately shocked me and registered deeply in my head. If I were him, I would at least take a bite, if not, at least HOLD the muffin in my hand, as a sign of APPRECIATION to my wife (if I were 5's spouse). But all her husband did, was just leave it cold on the plate, untouched; untasted. Did not even GIVE FACE to 5. Sorry C, Sorry A, for saying all these but please understand, these are just words of anger. I NEED TO WRITE THEM OFF MY MIND.

As for 6, she was the most understanding and easiest to relate to. I felt her advices were more encouraging and the age gap wasn't that far apart compared to 2 3 4 5. Still, 6 was quite concerned over me of my health and pretty supportive of what I wanted to set out to be.

As for C and A, yes, it would be hard to keep us apart. And I thank you for lending me your ears to listen and your hearts to feel my woes and eyes to see what is really going on and your basic instincts to guess a little bit of what is actually happening.

After that BAD and ULTRA INTENSE conversation, everyone seems to be looking at me with Great Disdain. Really now, I can't help it and I can't expect to make everyone happy for the sake of keeping everyone together.

Life is not about pleasing others for the illusion that they can be there for you when you need them, or for the illusion that you think that they could make your life freaking easier and simpler. It doesn't work like that.

This is a Bitch eat Bitch world. Survival of the Fittest.

Either you be passive and give way and please others without realising what is the least amount of Good you have done for YOURSELF, or, you be strong and live life like you Really Deserve it and live it like you mean it, and do things for Yourself, to Improve Yourself better, and be the Bitch who eats the other Bitch first.

It is 6:02pm now. Been typing for an hour or so. I guess my anger is appeased now. Not in the mood for anything else but to rest in bed. I need to Sleep Off my Anger. I haven't felt like this/the need to sleep my anger off, in a Very Long While now..

I will update the food pictures up later. I am too 'firey' to do anything now.

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i bleed; therefore i am {16:55}








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